my mind, it goes kind of fast
i'll try to slow it down for you.


August 2007 +
September 2007 +
October 2007 +
November 2007 +
December 2007 +
January 2008 +
February 2008 +
March 2008 +
April 2008 +
May 2008 +
June 2008 +
July 2008 +
August 2008 +
September 2008 +
October 2008 +
November 2008 +
December 2008 +
January 2009 +
February 2009 +
March 2009 +

I am like so angry at the world right now. Okay I'm probably saying all these now because mm I need to prep myself for results slip tomorrow. So I already kind of know what to expect and all... but seeing it ON the results slip is just extremely out there and makes you have to accept the harsh reality. And having the teacher's comment scares me because teachers never like me. It's just the way we roll...

So yes. I am angry at the world. For making my life revolve around studies. I hate it and I don't see WHY it is soooooooo important. Do I think that studying would at all help me achieve my dreams? Not really. Do I think it makes me a better person? Maybe. But so do other things. Why is it so important that I do so well in school and then move on to some fancy college studying more fancy things when I could do mm stuff I'd be so much happier doing? I really really really don't see why I need to be studying my ass off, mm to be happy in the future? Srslyyyy? Especially when none of my dreams revolve around things I'd achieve from studying.

What I'm most angry about though... is that I don't think I'd ever have enough courage to take the risk and trail off and do what I think would make me happier. Of course I know a lot of people would also be against it... But even if they aren't, I don't think I'd dare to. Yes, I'm a coward, at many many things. I would love to blame myself. But I think the world kind of has to share some of the blame too. For having a society like this.

Why can't we all just do things we WANT and LOVE to do. WHY.

WHY.

Because life is just like that...

Ew. Hate the world. Hate life.

I am still a teenager. I am allowed to express such angst. Although I know I will read this entry one hour later and laugh at myself for sounding so stupid. But as of now, I just need to urghh let.it.out. even if it mayyyy be exaggerated a little. I mean, I don't REALLY hate the world and life you know.... But you know...

Obviously not at my most coherent state. At times like this, a song helps.

Because it's cute. Because the lead singer's cute and wears cute stuff. And because I wish I had a silver lining.

xx
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Why certain people need to always try and get me bickering is beyond me... Don't we all want peace? I have been the most invisible as I possibly can whenever I'm within your vicinity. I find it impossible that you just get annoyed when I say/do absolutely nothing when I'm around you. But you know what, it's okay... I'll just suck it all in. Because that's what I'm good at anyway. Just.suck.it.all.in.

I think I need a new friend. One who would actually share my excitement in the things I do when there's nothing better to do. Today my sister stood me up. YES. SISTER. Who is 6years younger than me. Who I totally planned on spending today with since my maid's having her off day. I used to always be able to rely on my neighbour at times like this, because he's mm rather entertaining and all. But it doesn't really work out anymore. He cannot watch The Rachel Zoe Project with me without complaining. Like he would interrupt and say omg this is so boring you need to listen to this song its damn nice siaaaaaaaaaaa and then play some really scary screamy song I would never find joy in listening to. He cannot share my excitement when I gush about clothes because to him, Topshop is about as cool as it gets. So yes you knowwww... Not that I have decided not to be friends with him anymoreee. We're still cool. Especially when it comes to saving each other's asses when things become so screwed and when I need someone to my doorstep in the middle of the night because we all know I don't do the whole walking alone thing when the moon is out... But you knowwww, it'll be nice to have a new friend. Friends are good, no?

Okay I probably sound like a self-centered bitch, only wanting friends who benefit me. No no I think I am mm quiteeeeeeeee nice, like I would totally be friends with anybody. Okay no that kind of was a lie, not anybody... but anybody mm, nice enough. All I'm saying is thattttt, it'll be nice to have a new friend!

And because I've been meaning to share this with all of the world.

I have listened to this song about a thousand times. And I gush everytime I hear it. It only helps that he is omg so good live. And that he is cute too. JAMES MORRISON LET'S BE FRIENDS. I won't make you watch The Rachel Zoe Project with me if you don't want to. And you can TOTALLY interrupt me to listen to your nice amazing songs. Yes please yes please.

xx
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With all the hype over the clothes shown at fashion week, I never get round scrutinizing all the shoes till much later...

My ten favourite shoes of Spring 2009! :D (in alphabetical order!)



xx
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I didn't think families could get any cuter than the Jolie-Pitts... Until I saw this.

"Field of Dreams" Vogue November 2008
Ph: Mario Testino
Model: Natalia Vodianova

I've always loved Natalia. But seeing how cute her family is, I love her moreee.

Cheryl and I have been having "Omg, I'm going to end up as a spinster" talks lately. It's quite depressing I guess. Because seeing this probably makes you want to have a family. My cousin tells me it's okay. That I can be one of those catwomen spinsters with 200million cats, they seem rather happy. Except I hate cats. So maybe I could be a bunnywoman spinster of sorts...

xx
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Almost everyday, I wish life was like in fairytales. In fairytales, things would happen to you as long as you work hard. In life, not so much.

Today was the release of Promos results, which turned out being a rather unpleasant affair as much as we have wished otherwise. Well, shit happens... I think life's really just like that. We can study so shit hard and try in whichever way possible to make sure we do well, but still end up flunking it. Sometimes, things are just supposed to happen the way they happen... just like that.

I think all we can really do about it is to make sure we try. Even if trying doesn't guarantee success... At least we did what we could. And that if things don't turn out they way we want to then mm, it's really not our fault that it was supposed to turn out like that. I'm a total believer of fate and destiny.

We're all entitled to feel sad and whine about our grades though... Just as long as we don't ever find a reason to feel lousy about ourselves (because I don't see why we should). If you need, buy a bag and get over it. Or you could skip the bag... If you're my friend, I'll promise I've got your back! We're all too cool to let something like this bring us down, duh.

Okay lah, I talk as if I did so darned marvelously... I've just psyched myself enough for the worst. So I kind of got over my results even before I got them..

Just hang in there okay. I know I'm not wise old owl with good old advice. But if need be, I shall spare my fatty self so you'll be able to bounce back up on your feet. Not that it probably matters to you, but I love all you guys.

xx
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Celebrating Hari Raya as a batch this year was really quite a massive event, with like over twenty houses over a span of two very long and very tiring days! We even had like a pseudo bus thing to drive us around from house to house! It was mm, quite festive I guess... Because I always see like extended families doing that on Hari Raya but never got to experience it. With my family, Hari Raya outings are always slow and steady and zen. So this was mm different.



xx
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Urgh and just a while ago I was feeling very happy because we watched House Bunny today and it's so full of goodness. Kind of like a slightly sexed up Disney movie, and we are all suckers for Disney movieeeeeeeeeeeeeeees (HSM3 soon! My sister has been counting down and knows half the songs alreadyyy. Wahlao don't act like you're not excited okay...)

But as always, people must come along and ruin my dayyyyyyyy):

All plans of spending tomorrow at home being happy and sewing skirts are down the drain after a mm, fierce email from the teacher. I just don't get the point of going to school at times like this. Tomorrow is just stupid PE which I hate more than anything else, Physics lecture which noone listens to, and assembly which noone listens to either. WHY MUST I STILL BE IN SCHOOL. WHY.

But seeing my luck, one person making me all pissy is not enough. Why can't people do things? I'm really not one to do work... But I make myself even if I don't enjoy it. And I do it the best I can, as much as my minuscule brain manages. Why can't people do the same? WHY?

xx
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xx
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Dinner at my house today! Haha because Andrew was insistent on eating rendang at my house. Boo Shawn for ditching us. Hehe it was so exciting and we all learnt lots of exciting new things! Must have more dinner partiessssssssss (: Love you allllll and GO ANDREW(: (: (:

xx
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My house, apart being a fan of fishes, is a huge fan of sausages. No, we don't watch sausages swimming in tanks, we have sausages on our plates for like breakfast or supper. (Everyone except me of course, as with everything else...) So anyway last night, my sister was eating sausages and she said...

"You know... Sometimes I don't really like to eat hot dog."
"Of course you're sick of it, you eat it ALL the time."
"No, it's not that. Hot dogs make me think of funny things."
"Huh what funny things?"
"Mm, like bananas..."
"What kind of bananas look like sausages!"
"You know, like boys' bananas."

I miss being young, saying cute young things):


xx
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Stupid hole in stupid bangs. I hate it when you take a picture and there's like a gap in your bangs, it's so retarded and so annoying like you want to colour the gap in with a black marker. But seeing how I'm not very good at colouring, I'll leave it as it is. Everyone who's seen this picture said it's damn obvious how I so totally do not look like the rest of my family members cus they all look alike, apart from how dark my father is because he spends to much time on the sea.

Speaking of sea, MY HOUSE IS LIKE FREAKING UNDERWATER WORLD NOW. We have FIVE freaking aquariums. FIVE. Three of decent normal sizes and the two big enough for my sister to lie in. Obssessive I know. Like I think my father always wished of being a he-mermaid of sorts... I never really had any interest in fishes. I mean, they're nice to eat but I always thought they were the boringest effing pets you could ever have.

But they are actually quite interesting! My dad has this super pretty fish I call Nina Ricci. Remember the make up for Nina Ricci Fall 08 where they had this gold line across their eyes. The fish kind of has that too! Except in black. (: And he/she/it is soooo cute cus he/she/it is like super shy and always hides behind his/her/its friends and is superrrrrr small. Smaller than the rest. My father says he/she/it s like that because he/she/it is myopic! Haha MYOPIC. Which I think could be quite true. Because everytime he/she/it tries to nibble on the food things, he/she/it misses. It's quite funny but quite sad because you want to feed him/her/it. But never in one thousand years would I put my hand in the aquarium crap water thing. Sickkkkk. Omg but fishes are also quite barbaric, they eat each other up it's very stressful to watch sometimes and it makes you scream for the poor fish victims. And since I wouldn't stop screaming for the poor fishes, my brother created this lock up area where the violent fishes get quarantined in a small space. You know it actually works because the fishes come out less violent. Maybe they have feelings and all... Oh I'm making my brother fill one aquarium with those fish that nibble on your feet. Then I could have my own fishy spa at home so excitinggg

Okay need to stop this whole fish talk thing. Too weird.

Anywayyyyy, Selamat Hari Raya! (: And it's the season to be asking for forgivenessssss. I am quite certain I have a lot of people to be asking forgiveness from... seeing how I'm not particularly nice. So well mm, sorry for anything and everything I've done that could possibly have affected you in not-so-pleasant ways!

It's so gross how I've gotten used to eating after close to a month of fasting, WHICH I FAITHFULLY COMMITED TO. Is there a word one level higher than bingeing? Cus whatever that word is, is whatever I am doing now. ): Totally doesn't help that there is SO much food around the house. Meant for guests, but bet you I eat at least 80% of everything. ): ): ): Please stop me the next time you see me eating thankzzzzz

Like now. The whole time I was typing this I was eating dried apricots. And yeah, so dried apricots aren't that bad... but I would be better off not eating them. Okay off to chuck them somewhere far farrrrrr away out of sight. xx!

xx
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If I could be anyone in the world, I would be Daphne Guinness... or I wouldn't mind being Georgina Chapman.

xx
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