This date five years ago I experienced the worst day of my life. Five years later, I still remember the scent you'd leave on your pillow. And how I would wonder how you always smelt so good. I remember how I used to watch you eat and be very envious of the sounds you make when you chew your food. Then I would make sure I eat the exact same things as you and wonder why I don't make the same sounds when I chew. I remember how you would come home late after work and still be happy to listen to my stories. How we both had the same biggest fear and how we would shut our eyes and grip each other's hands really tightly when we were out at night. How you would scold me when I was naughty but only sustain your anger for five minutes.
I am sorry I didn't realise the value of your love then. Maybe I was too young. Or maybe it's true what they say about how you learn to appreciate things once they're gone.
But it's no point regretting now because it won't change anything. I know there is no one person I would ever love so much in my life as I love you. Five years later, I still have not met anyone more beautiful or with a heart purer than yours. I live every day hoping to be a step closer to being the woman that you were. I miss you, Mama.
xx _____________________________________________________________________________________________
