Friday, October 26, 2007 23:22
So, that was three days of skipping school. I was partly unwell so I should be forgiven.
The whole school skipping thing started off because of angst-ridden me. And the past days have been spent soul-searching, or so I tell myself. Thank you dear vanilla soy lattes for being there for me these few days! I am about to die of like caffeine overdose or something. I had about 8 vanilla soy lattes in three days. And mind you, two of them were ventis. Must stop self from seeking solace in vanilla soy lattes.
Today was a much happier day. (Well, it sort of was. Until a while ago... But more of that later.) I finally got my prom dress! :D Well, kind of. It isn't with me yet cus it's being altered now, but at least I don't have to look for one anymore. So that's one burden off me. Searching for a dress was killer. Everything I wanted off the racks were either really lame/ugly/didn't fit me. All these excluding the designer dresses I wanted that were at least 2grand and that never in a thousand years would my dad pay for. Then I had the brilliant idea of wanting to get my dress tailored. And I was totally aiming for this christian lacroix dress from f/w2007 to be tailored
until everyone managed to convince me it's extremely gross and that it will make me look like a dumpling. After all that, I finally decided to go for something really really formal and long and flowy. And I found one today. It's black and not crazy and wild like the dresses I usually crave, but I like it. It's long and elegant and classy (SO ME! I KNOW RIGHT) Haha Screw all you haters who think short people shouldn't wear long dresses. I would post a picture of the dress but that would totally ruin the surprise... but if you must, think the Calvin Klein number that Alicia Keys wore for CFDA this year. (I know, of all people... her. But sorry, I can't think of anyone else with a similar dress.) Haha. I still have yet to get shoes and a clutch and accessories. But whatever, at least I've gotten my dress.
A while ago, Daddy reminded Aunty Rani that she would be leaving in December. When I say leaving, I meant leaving for ever and ever. For those who don't know, Aunty Rani's been my maid for fourteen years now. So it's going to be dead hard without her. I mean, she does EVERYTHING around the house. She even irons my freaking underwear for godsake. No other person would do that for me. More than that, she always been, for fourteen years, listening to my whinings and my bitchings and she's always been like my bigger sister and BFF. I don't know what Daddy's thinking, really. But he's decided that she's to be sent home and nothing would change his mind. My dad's just REALLY stubborn like that. I don't know if he's thinking of getting a new maid or if he intends to leave us as we are or if BITCH is moving in. But how in the fucking world am I suppose to survive if either of the three happens. I don't bloody want a new maid, it's like freaking hard to even find a decent one. If he thinks that we can manage ourselves, think again. My brother doesn't even turn on switches without yelling for my maid to help him. Noone in the house knows how to cook anything other that instant noodles and the pizzas with readymade crusts you add your own toppings on and pop into the oven. Like seriously. And if he thinks I'm going to allow BITCH to move in. HAH. I would plan on moving out along with my brother and sister. I'm sure I should have a relative out there willing to house us. Or so, I hope.
As much as this is EXTREMELY hard for me, I have to be able to pull myself together and act like it's alright. I have to. For my sister. It may be hard for me, but I know it's harder for my sister. She has been with my maid all her life. Other than to school, my sister's always at home with my maid. So they are extremely extremely close. This would be the second time in her life my sister would have to say goodbye to a motherly figure, and she's only 10. Once my maid is gone, I really have to step it up as a big sister. I need to be there for my sister. There's noone else. My brother's got his own life and daddy's just himself. My sister means the world to me. Like seriously, if there is one person who keeps me alive from day to day, it's her. Whenever I think of doing something silly, I don't. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't want to have my sister to suffer. I know how much my sister cares for me and looks up to me. For all that, I must really pull myself together. I cannot show my sister that I'm sad that Aunty Rani's leaving. I must be the one to show her that it's fine and that life's going to go on just as well after that.
I know I may sound melodramatic. To most people, leaving their maids are nothing. They probably just change maids more often that Linsay Lohan goes into rehab. But it's different for us. My maid's been the one there for me all the times I fuck up. She understands me and everything I've been through better than anyone else. And to my sister, my maid's probably like a mother.
This whole post had made me all miserable again. But I promise that when I get off this computer, and face my sister, I will show her I'm strong and try my best to keep her happy. Bye. V
xx
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